The Daruma Awakens 達磨起きた

It was a little over a year ago, my last visit to Japan. In the fall, with a spectrum of leaves. This was the visit in which to decision to move would manifest itself, starting from a cute notion, to a plausible idea, to an actual full-fledged plan.

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I had been conducting my usual shopping trips for souvenirs. These usually consist of hitting the local Santa themed thrift stores, the Daiso dollar store, and various other small stores for trinkets and small gifts. On one such occasion, a cute little Daruma figure caught my eye. He was nothing of significance really. I had found and purchased much more interesting Daruma figures before.

But this Daruma was a little solar-powered toy, the kind you might place in a  window. There was probably 50 of them in the display, all rocking back-and-forth, side-to-side like cute, red little pendulums, powered by the light.

santaIf I was going to pony up the 150円 (about $1.35) for the little guy, I wanted to make sure he was working well and would work at home. I picked up several, examining each individually. A face with a little frown and furrowed eyebrows staring back at me – setting them down one after the other. They all seemed to function, so I’m not sure what I was really looking for. Maybe the one rocking the hardest? Or most accurately? Quite likely they were all identical, but I tend to be a very slow and meticulous shopper.

I settled upon one, and he was purchased and quickly found his way into my suitcase and pile of other souvenir give-away’s.

And there he sat for weeks.  After some some months, he returned to my memory, and thought I’d bring him to work. I placed him in my window. I being thoughtful to place him in the path of a sunbeam, for maximum exposure. I checked on him through the day, but he would not budge.
He only sat. Staring blankly. Possibly meditating.

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Thinking that maybe he just needed some time to charge, i left him alone – and after some days forgot about him. An occasional glance would confirm his stubbornness.
I would move desks at some point, and he would be inherited by another co-worker. He became lined-up with a number of other colorful desk figures, including Star Wars, superhero’s, etc.

Many months would pass without so much as a jiggle – nearly a year.

But somehow, once again the little red orb would find his way back to my desk, as our office became reshuffled. It was somewhere around this time (a few months ago) that we began to sell off our possessions, and truly take action toward our move to Japan.

And it was around this time I noticed something.

I thought it was just my eyes at first. The vibration of  the room or imagination, but i would catch an ever so slight movement. Not easy to verify at first. Not until I clearly noted a full rocking back-and-forth ever so subtly one afternoon.
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It also happened that on this day I would sell a majority of my music equipment. And the next day he was still,  once again.

A week or so later, I would catch him in the act again, rocking a bit – on the same day in which we would sell our furniture. Again, the next day, perfectly still.

He has kept up this pace, with ever increasing frequency. I’ve begun to check him, almost like a clock now.

Will we sell something today? Will we receive news? Will today be lucky?

As the days tick-off, and our departure grows near – his rocking has become quite frequent! Likewise, our possessions are quickly heading out the door, and our commitments to leaving intensify. Our 30-day notice’s at work, and to our landlord have been submitted. Goodbyes and tears are being exchanged.

At this rate, I expect him to be fully and completely rocking-out by the time we depart for Japan. Is there some significance to his awaking and his apparent excitement about our big move? I cannot tell you.

But I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better not to question the universe, and to just move in the same direction that it takes you.

3 Types of Buyers to Avoid When Selling Your Posessions

With 46 days before moving, we rapidly scale back our possessions, reducing to critical-items only. It means selling off a lot, including a couple cars. We’re going this via a number of platforms… Craigslist, mobile apps, auctions and specialty websites. I have to say, I think we’re getting rather good at it. img_7529

At this point – initial messages of interest from potential buyers are coming fast and furious, and nothing really surprises me. (Although i did get one from a girl about my digital voice recorder asking if she could “catch ghosts with it”. My answer? Of course. Absolutely.)

There are a few messages which I believe to be big red flags, warning you to avoid business with some people. After all, your time is precious. Why waste it on someone who has immediately identified themselves as not-really-serious ?

When you get one of these messages, take notice;

  1. Their first message is “Why are you getting rid of it?”
    While this isn’t a 100% deal killer, it’s certainly not very classy right out of the gate. For one thing – it’s none of your business why i might be getting rid of something. For another thing, you are hinting that there may be some hidden information about the item. I don’t mind this question once money is changing hands, but as your first question – this gives off a bad vibe.

    RECOMMENDED ALTERNATIVE TO BUYER: Once you have met in person, looking at the item together and money is changing hands, I believe it is a fair question to ask. Other helpful questions might be… “Are you the original owner?”

  2. Their first message offers you 50% or less than your asking price.
    Hold on! I’m all about the bargain, and haggling, and being flexible with pricing. Actually I recommend asking for  least 20% more than your intended sale price. But what i’m talking about is a specific type of buyer.

    By offering half price immediately, they identify themselves as someone who is immature or inexperienced in business dealings. Not only are they showing lack of respect for your perceived value of the item, but they are basically saying: “I care so little about the nuances of this transaction, that I probably won’t even show up to buy it – at any price.” Will I sell for half my asking price? Sure – on occasion. But there is a correct path of negotiation to get there.

    RECOMMENDED ALTERNATIVE TO BUYER: Ask a seller what his lowest acceptable price is IF they are able to come and get the item immediately with cash in hand. There is value in a buyer who can take immediate action – and this can be used to an advantage. 

  3. Their first message is “Whats wrong with it?”
    There are many ways to get more detail from a seller. This is not one of them. If there was something wrong with it – I would state that clearly in the description. So when you ask this as your first question, you tell me that you don’t believe or trust my description. Not the best foot to start out on, right? This kind of attitude reveals a personality that will agree with you on a price, and then “find some problem” with the item in order to try and reduce their cost later on. Always try to agree on a set price before the buyer comes to get it.

    RECOMMENDED ALTERNATIVE TO BUYER: Engage in conversation and ask for additional descriptive details. Ask specific questions. Are there any visible scratches? Does it power on normally? When was the last time you used it?

A note about selling all your possessions:
As the seller you have the ultimate power, the power to say “no thanks”.  You will be surprised to see how quickly some people’s minds will change when you are willing to walk away from a sale. Never feel pressured into giving things away . Sometimes you will sell things for a bit less than you would have liked. Sometimes what you get will surprise you. But overall, this can be a profitable and fun venture for you!

Happy selling!

 

Disappearing Furniture

In our small 1920’s era Los Angeles rental, the rooms grow bigger every day. Actually the possessions become fewer, which just makes the house look and feel far more spacious. People arrive daily now, answering ads and apps regarding our items for-sale. Completing the transactions quickly is a daily ritual of mine.

While it feels right, preparing to move (& slimming down to the basics) it does feel a bit surreal. Maybe it just goes against my pack-rat tendencies. It stirs up some feelings, and brings heightened emotion to the moment.

perceptionsI think to myself: This is the only house our children know. I’m suddenly valuing that feeling of “home” more highly. How long will it take, following an international move, for that feeling to return?

The memories of having 2 babies come into the world here, and watching them grow, are precious. It is the end of an era.

With a matter of weeks remaining, some nagging insecurities exist; not knowing the language well enough, not being prepared enough to generate an income there, wondering if i can adjust culturally. But these rather silly thoughts are quickly drowned-out as my thoughts turn to the kids. Will they have any memories of this home? How will such a major move affect their growth?

But we can’t let a few worries control our actions and destiny. Otherwise we’d never get out of bed in the morning.

I’ve had enough of Los Angeles for a while – change is long overdue. Our family will be entering a life of amazingly healthy food, pristine nature and clean water, a support system with loving grandparents and family. The countryside with children – is a dream environment and playground. The opportunity for them to grab a piece of their own culture and soak up the language naturally.

I have no doubts about the decision. To fear the unknown is natural. It is clear that love of family is perhaps the only thing that truly matters.  A challenge to a family can bring them closer together, strengthen bonds, and demonstrate that “home” is the comfort that comes from making memories together.

 

What is the first step ?

The first step is the decision.

Once the decision has been made, and the psychological switch has been flipped – we’ve entered the planning mode.

I won’t lie, the reality takes a little while to sink in. Wiping the slate clean – starting fresh somewhere entirely new. Thinking about everything that needs to be done can be overwhelming. For us… living in a house with kids, one in preschool, and 3 cars, and multiple jobs and a house full of accumulated stuff – where does one even start with preparing for an international move?

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time. – Creighton Abrams

It’s important to break the pieces of such an endeavor down into small, achievable pieces. More than that, it’s important to maintain a clear and positive state of mind and live in the moment while completing each steps, with each one bringing you closer to the final goal.
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For those considering such a transition, my recommendation is to:

    1. Start with a date. Mark the calendar. Now you have a timeline. There is an end to your time here – no matter how distant it might seem. One trap I could see falling into, is letting this seemingly distant date make you think… “Hey, I’ve got plenty of time!”. Because let me tell you – that date will arrive faster than you think.
    2. To combat this way of thinking, you’ve got to have  some short term goals. Monthly, and preferably weekly or daily. Get this up on a calendar and post it UP at EYE LEVEL where you are forced to see it daily. Want to rely on your cell phone? That’s your choice. But I don’t recommend it.  I’m a fan of big changes to my current life, which remind me that the date is coming – and force me to consider things differently, every single day – outside the normal daily grind.
    3. Start consolidating. I’ll go more into this later – but it’s time to start thinking about what you really care about. Is anything worth saving? Is anything work paying $2000+/YR in storage? Maybe you have a place to store things with family. Regardless, if you are anything like us, you probably have a ton of things you don’t need. Don’t get stuck having to scramble at the end. Craigslist, Ebay, Selling Apps and even a big fat Garage Sale (or three) can be your friend!

The Pre-Blog History

You may be asking, “what is the point” of this Blog. Let me try to make a long story – short;

As a kid i always had some curiosity about other cultures, especially Japan. But it wasn’t until I was an adult, around the age of 25, that I took my first Japanese language class on a whim (at SBCC), and really enjoyed it. I ended up making few language partners who became life-long friends and further engaged my interest in the language and culture.

Then the trail kind of goes cold for a while. I had quit my job in technology, and went back to school for audio & video, and chased the dream of a career in the music industry. After going on to help make many amazing records, and still being quite broke – i met my future wife, who at the time had been living in the US for about 5 years.

Fast forward a few years, and we we’re married, with me in marketing as my primary career, with plenty of time spent with her amazing family in both the US and Japan.

Fast forward a few more  years – Ive got two kids, and my Japanese language skills are still basic. But with a few Japan trips under my belt and a love for the Japanese countryside, the people, and the culture – the decision was made to move. Will my language skills ever be passable? Will my kids grow up truly bilingual? When will they pass me up? There are many questions .

The decision to move;

Seeing my son as a toddler enjoying the pristine countryside on a Japan trip, rather than having to prevent him from touching everything (like on a walk through Los Angeles) was certainly thought provoking. Yes – having a support system of family, rather than always “going it lone” in LA was a factor. But the “Aha!” moment was probably when seeing our son play at a Japanese pre-school, and how happy, and healthy he looked – It really got our brains working.

As humans we’re always looking for “what’s next” or the next challenge to overcome. Knowing that raising two kids in Los Angeles was not what we wanted for their younger years, we’ve opted for something different. Selling it all and starting over. The rest is details. But like everything – it all starts with making the decision.

I hope that you follow along with our experience.